Examples of Making Amends in Recovery Addiction Resources

It is important to note that just because you have made amends does not mean that your relationships will be completely healed or return back to normal. Living amends is a certain type of amends you make in addiction recovery. Essentially, it means making a radical shift in the way you live and sticking to that.

Commit to living a sober and honest life

• However, you may be wondering exactly what this involves.
• In many 12-step recovery programs, making amends is an important part of the process.
• Completing Step 9 is the next step forward in recovery, regardless of how the other person responds.
• When someone struggles with addiction, they are not the only ones affected.

Another example is a substance or alcohol-addicted adult child who regularly steals money, jewelry, and other valuable items from their elderly parent’s home. However, they may suddenly feel guilty and decide to change their ways. They can make a living amend to change their lifestyle, get sober, and stop stealing from their parent. Deathbed promises are a common way people make living amends. They want to find ways of making up for all their past wrongs, and they don’t want to miss the opportunity to do so once their loved one dies. In these cases, they make promises of cleaning up their act and changing their behaviors to their loved ones just before they die.

• One very effective way to make amends is to go to treatment.
• It’s not enough to say to someone that you apologize and feel badly for how you acted in the past.
• Our team works closely with you throughout this process to help you achieve your goals in recovery.
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All types of amends are good, but living amends are some of the best kinds you can make! They affirm your decision to make lifelong changes, which has a positive effect on both you and everyone around you. Step Nine states that we make amends “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We don’t want our actions to cause further damage, harm or stress. In those cases, we can make amends in a broader sense by taking actions like donating money, volunteering our time or providing care. Making amends helps repair relationship problems caused by addiction. While the process may seem daunting at first, you can make amends in a way that’s sincere and respectful.

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I let him decide if he wants to do laundry at midnight or wear dirty clothes. I no longer interrogate him about his day at school, so I can give my wise advice on how to handle difficult peers. I’m not his teacher, and I’m sure she’s skilled at handling that type of problem. Making amends is challenging, but the outcome can be one of the most rewarding parts of recovery. Recognize and acknowledge your behaviors that caused harm to someone else. Blending modern and traditional approaches, a residential treatment center addressing substance use disorders with equine therapy in Scottsdale, Arizona.

The origin of living amends in modern use relates to addiction recovery and substance abuse treatment. However, in the context of grief recovery, David Kessler, in his book Finding Meaning, living amends talks about the importance of living amends as a tool for grief healing. In particular, he discusses how to heal when the person we need to make amends with is no longer living.

Generally speaking, people work through the Steps of Alcohol Anonymous with an addiction treatment counselor and/or sponsor. You can also turn to AA’s Big Book and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (the 12 & 12) for guidance specific to Step 8. Ninety percent of the time, I keep my mouth shut, but I am my son’s mother. I have a responsibility to parent him and speak out for his best interests.

Step Nine: Making Amends in Recovery

In addition to apologizing and asking for their forgiveness regarding the incident in question, you might offer to repay them in full for the money you stole. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. At Boardwalk Recovery Center, we support clients through the steps and encourage them to make amends when appropriate to restore their relationships and sense of morality.

With these kinds of promises, there may not be enough genuine intention of changing their hurtful patterns and behaviors. One of the most common reasons people want to make living amends is to correct past wrongs. Living amends bridges the gap between living in shame and regret and finding forgiveness. Before completing step nine, the recovering alcoholic needs to be ready to deliver their message with the best intentions, not motivated by false expectations.

• Again, in recovery, your words may not mean as much to some people as you wish they would.
• One must take it a step further and be willing to change their behavior.
• A full continuum of care treating addiction and mental health through an evidence-based approach, relapse prevention, and holistic healing with beach activities.
• For example, some people may require medically supervised detox as a first step, followed by residential alcohol treatment.

Ask for forgiveness.When asking for forgiveness, be authentic. Be willing to accept any consequences—no matter how severe. If the other person forgives but acts poorly, it’s okay to not reconcile. Even though a person says they forgive, they might not be ready to reconcile.